Melissa Sue

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 21:28:05 GMT

i don't want to go back to school. i don't want to do my internship. i don't want to be a big girl. i like sleeping until one. i like being a big blob with willie. i don't want responsibility. i don't want to sleep in a room all by myself. i don't want to be stressed about time management and homework. i don't want to miss will. i'm not good with change.

Sat, 12 Jan 2008 23:09:56 GMT

i love frosted flakes. i hate being home.

Tue, 01 Jan 2008 21:23:58 GMT

i always feel like a new year means weird things. like, i'm a year older. will and i have been together for a year. i should be a junior. i'm a craz-o.

2007 was a pretty fab year, though. second semester freshmen year was probably the best time ever. i miss all the assholes who graduated. i miss lacrosse. i miss sarah. the summer of '07 was pretty dandy too. i happen to like william, a lot.

2008 has some pretty big shoes to fill, i think. although, i'm really not looking forward to next semester. i called sarah the day after christmas and she still hasn't called me back. i guess i'll just call again.

happy new year, suckas.

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 15:45:49 GMT

well finals are done, i'm home home home. i don't really know how anything went. i just feel grumpy and lazy right now. i was absolutely dreading coming home. i like being able to do whatever i want (like drive to long island) and not worrying about the fact that will's dad doesn't like me, and that i'm actually spending lots of money, and that i'll have to work to get that money back. i really don't want to think about the fact that sarah won't be back to wells next semester or that it'll be a lot harder for will and i to see each other because we're both taking on so much. i also don't want to buy christmas presents. i don't want to sit in my cold little room alone, over-thinking about things i really don't need to think about in the first place. i like having homework. i like writing papers. i like having sarah as a roommate. and i like driving to long island. i was really content with everything just the way it was. boo.

anyway, i should probably go do some christmas shopping. i should probably decide whether i want to work at flo's or boces. and i would like to eat breakfast. my life is hard. bah, i'm such a whiner.

i got a 108!

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 05:07:37 GMT

/*
will is trying to teach me to write code. it's only fun if you use obscene variables like i have. weee! he scored me a 108 'cause i lost 2 points for whining, but got back a bonus 10 for doing something more than what i was originally asked! (he's really lame).
*/
#include
using namespace std;

int main () {
int tit;
int pecker = 5;
cout <<"how many eyes does a human typically have?";
cin >> tit;
if (tit != 2)
{
cout << "WRONG repeat after me "<<pecker<<" times, loser-face!\n"; for(int j=1; j<pecker+1; j++) { cout <<j<<":\ta human does not have "<<tit<<" eyes. a human has 2 eyes!\n"; } } else { cout << "good job, melissa sue!\n"; } return 0; }

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 18:43:35 GMT

i've become obsessed with my other livejournal. writing shitty poems amuses me, and is a good way to waste time. but it's okay, i have some spare time, anyway. i only have to take my math final, and my english final (which is take home), and write one more 5 page paper (for ernie olson). so, i'm really unstressed and just waiting for someone to tell me i can go home for j-term.

my shits all in for my intership with dean lundquist. that'll be interesting, to say the least.

i also tried out for the vagina monologues. i'll find out about that on friday.

our activism project yesterday went absolutely amazing. it really restored my faith in the "community" at wells college. i wish we could have done it with some of the people from last year though. i think you guys (who had to graduate...assholes) would have really liked it. it was really thought-provoking, fun, and most importantly- meaningful. i'll post some pictures later when i'm not as lazy.

abba corbly smells like poo. and i <3 her.

ammmmmmmmmy!

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 04:21:40 GMT

amy,

dean l. wants to send me to san francisco for this: http://www.sc.edu/fye/index.html
i haven't filled out the application yet, though. i'm a lazy bum hole. when will i see you again, love muffin?

love,
m. sue
---------------

everyone:
check out rachel jacobs. she's pretty and AMAZING.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r40RZ9DxSiY

everyone should also read this:
http://www.cracked.com/article_14990_what-monkeysphere.html

a funny!

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 16:44:11 GMT

Mon, 26 Nov 2007 04:25:27 GMT

sooo, i created a new livejournal because i wanted to have a place to put my poems. i'm embarrassing and such. but here's the link, anyway. feel free to read it and make fun of me and all that.

http://shedoesnotexist.livejournal.com/

Fri, 23 Nov 2007 04:44:31 GMT

it goes from great to terrible so quickly. the holidays always suck. i wish i wasn't such a loser. if it wasn't my mom's birthday tomorrow, i would love to just put some clothes in my car and drive away from everything here. although, i'm not sure there's anything for me anywhere anymore.

we're all home for thanksgiving!

Wed, 21 Nov 2007 00:58:12 GMT

my brother's hair is long and he's goofy looking. and, he doesn't seem to have gotten any smarter. he's not sure he'll beat my first semester grade (which was atrocious) because of his german class. and now he's talking about being a spanish teacher.

my family laughed at me during dinner because i used too many big words when i spoke. i felt awkward. but, my dad giggled at me a lot, especially when my brother was complaining about not having a car and talking about taking my mom's van. i said i'd drop out of school to drive her to work if tim had her van. they all looked at me and i said, "and it's a shame because you've always known that i was the child that held the most promise." my dad thought that was hysterical, for some reason.

also, my mom complained about how skinny i am (i didn't know i was really that skinny) and made me promise i was eating well. it's a lot different from last year when she was calling me fat on my birthday and i was crying at lacrosse practice in amy's arms.

and my parents left to gamble.

and my brother left to probably get baked or drunk.

and i'm doing homework and waiting for will.

so, this is being a grown up?

***in other news, how hard is it to dual major at wells?***

Mon, 12 Nov 2007 20:00:25 GMT

q) when's the last time i did something that made someone proud of me? or made me proud of myself?

a) throwing up pistachio's is kinda cool... but maybe not prideworthy.

catch up

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 01:33:44 GMT

new favorites:
-will foran
-rosa
-crocs
-reddit.com
-john keats
-wrc library
-my haircut
-chickpeas
-the movie "death at a funeral"
-sweatpants
-rainbow twizzlers

old favorites:
-amy truax
-not changing my underwear
-teddy bear
-sarah jo
-broccolli
-cuddling
-michael jackson
-bea farns
-talking smack

new developments:
-internship with dean l. j-term
-internship with dean l. spring semester
-i'll be completed with my major requirements next semester except for fem theory, my thesis, and one other course for ws (can't be in ws or his)
-i'm happy
-anarchy

what i want for x-mas:
-will foran
-to go to a rosa show
-clothes i can wear to look professional
-more sweatpants
-a crab leg dinner with my mommy
-an external hard drive

for your viewing pleasure:

Wed, 07 Nov 2007 15:43:11 GMT

they were actually much more fun to make and we didn't wear them for very long. but everytime we tried to show people what they were and that they connected, will made a boop-boop-boop sound as if we really were the tetris game. i think this was the best costume i've ever participated in. it was definitely with the best person. :)

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 21:56:54 GMT

p.s.- in better news my nana sent me a halloween card! and a dollar for a chocolate bar. she's a saint!

Mon, 29 Oct 2007 21:54:36 GMT

i only use this thing to bitch but here i am again. i'm just bored and uncultured and collecting slimy green mold. i basically failed my english mid-term, and i'm NOT pumped about that, that's for sure. my brother completely disregarded the birthday present i spent 4 hours on and was incredibly proud of. and i feel like i'm always cold. i was happier this weekend when i was crying in the canastota fire department's parking lot than i am now. i become increasingly more melancholy as the distance between my headlights and will's grows greater. i'm a mess and a pathetic sap. but if this is what "being grown up" is supposed to be then i'm over it. why doesn't anyone ever just do what they want? let's just watch woody allen movies and pet each other until the world ends.

Thu, 25 Oct 2007 04:31:51 GMT

option one: rot next semester, sad and alone.
option two: maybe not option one, but pretty close.

ah, shoot.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 16:38:28 GMT

bea farns broke my heart yesterday. :(

i think i have a pimple on the inside of my right nostril.

i cut nearly 6 inches off my hair. i got a bob now, apparently.

is it j-term yet?

fuck this place!

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:19:29 GMT

do you loooove never having hot water?
does terrible internet service grease your wheels?
are you and your friends all homophobes?

COME TO WELLS COLLEGE, THEN! WE'RE THE SCHOOL FOR YOU!

Mon, 15 Oct 2007 13:59:38 GMT

this weekend was exactly what it needed to be. everything feels absolutely good right now.

Sat, 06 Oct 2007 13:37:58 GMT

i'm a sloppy person. first, i just ate like 7 oreos for breakfast. second, i hated new paltz. it has a pretty campus. but when i got there i panicked and wanted to cry. i clearly am completely stupid and pathetic. i don't know what i'm going to do now. i'm sort of lost. will and i made a matrix of the positives and negatives of wells. we were driving back to long island while doing this so we haven't done anything with it yet. he doesn't want me to just make a decision about something. he says i need to survey. i know he's right but i just want to know what i'm doing. i guess i can just go to wells, get a degree in women's studies, and figure out what i want to do for grad school from there. haha, if anything i'm just really embarrassed because i told everyone i'd be transferring. will said he knew this would happen. i guess it was pretty obvious. eh, i'm a slob. i think this means i really can't leave though, ever. hmm.

in other news, we went to nyc last night. the absolute epitome of human degradation. it was will's idea, and he hates it as much, if not more, than me. plus, he had crew at 5 in the morning. eileen, will, and i returned to long island a little before 3. we were all pretty miserable and steve had pissed me off and pretty much ruined all the plans we had made. but, bailey didn't get towed, and i got to see will sooner than i thought. i would have done it again even knowing beforehand it would turn out like that. eileen and i got to talk a lot and just vent. we're so much alike yet so different. she's always a breath of fresh air. she's my one consistent friend of the past. i felt bad that everything we thought would happen didn't, but just being with her and will was worth it.

so, i'm waiting for will to call me for lunch, and then when he gets out of class at 5:30 we're going to connecticut to spend the night with his family in east hartford. from there we're going to his reggatta sunday morning. i'm really excited for all of that to happen! it feels like a big deal to meet his family (i think it is). and i like not being in long island... hehe. also, i really like will's uncle nick, so it'll be nice to see him again. also, i want to meet will's cousin tom, because next weekend i think the three of us are going to a defiance, ohio concert in vermont! if i know will, we'll be sleeping in his car in vermont saturday night. so sleeping with will and his cousin should be fun... especially if i know tom a little bit first.

so, i think i'm going to just sleep and read until will calls for lunch. maybe after i'll watch dirty dancing for the 56th thousandth time. i really am crazy for swayze. but let's be honest, i'm insane in general.

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 20:57:40 GMT

i'm calling it chilopodaphobia - fear of centipedes.

(chilopoda is their class... i got the idea from arachnophobia...der).

they're literally EVIL!

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 04:22:15 GMT

YEAST INFECTIONS WERE CREATED BY THE MOST MISOGYNISTIC BACTERIA EVER. I WOULD GLADLY GET RID OF MY UTERUS RIGHT NOW. I DON'T HAVE ANY OF MY HOMEWORK DONE AND ALL I CAN DO IS WRITHE AROUND AND TRY NOT TO STICK MY CACTUS INTO MY VAGINA TO TRY TO ITCH MY CERVIX. I HATE BEING A WOMAN, RIGHT NOW!

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 13:48:56 GMT

last night was kind of surreal.

this weekend in general was just interesting.

it started out that i didn't think i'd get to see will. which, you know, i should be able to do, but apparently i can't. he had to be in connecticut by 7 pm saturday for his aunt's birthday. so, in normal people world, he wouldn't have come here because it would have been about 700 miles driving. but instead of doing that, i met him about half way from long island, at hancock n.y., and we left his car there and i drove him back to wells. all in all, it added about 5 hours of driving to his trip to connecticut and i ended up driving about eight this weekend. which, i didn't mind at all. i'd do pretty much anything to sleep next to him at night. we got back to wells at like 9 though and pretty much went right to bed because he'd been up since 5 because of crew practice. we got up around 9 ate breakfast, did his laundry, and then we had to leave by 1 to get him to his car at like 3 so he could get to connecticut by 7. phew. yeah, so it was a lot of work and we didn't get to see each other that long. but i'd do it again without any thought. i'm kind of really insane for him and that only way to quell that hunger is to have him here with me.

but yeah, so when i got back last night i got dressed in my blue and green even colors and went to the game with ariellie butt. the entire thing was insane and fun. sarah played so amazing! you would have thought she'd been playing basketball forever by the way she looked on the court (especially in comparison to everyone else). watching the game made me wish i had played, but i also know i couldn't have gotten slammed into like that. hehe. the singing, the cheering, the amazingly sexy half time show, and being with people that i don't spend all my time with, like maggi, ariel, caroline, lara ryan, tatum pants, stephanie, etc. etc. made me feel happy and loved for the first time at wells this semester. the atmosphere was kind of electric.

and at the end of the game, when evens lost and sarah was bawling. i felt a disjuncture between my heart and my head. when i eventually got sarah into my arms and tried to talk to her i felt so outer-body. then we sang of course, which i always like, and i saw all the awesome alums (especially laura tennen and abby, AND sarah alexander- who i hadn't seen yet this semester! >:( ) and i was sort of thinking to myself, "how can i leave a place like this?" but even more so, "how can i be at a school where the best friend i have ever had in my entire life isn't there? when she isn't my roommate?!" for a little bit i felt really uncertain of leaving here.

but then, a bunch of first year boys left in the middle of our singing.

and then, i went back to the room and talked to sarah about leaving. and it's really obvious that these sort of moments at wells are really nearly dead. the people we love for making this place what it is aren't going to be here anymore after this year anyway. and those that are- will have only an uphill struggle to make this place what it should be.

and then, when sarah left to go party with her team, i didn't have the ambition to call anyone else to see what was going on with them tonight. and no one called me. and i was okay pretty okay with that (but not at the same time). it just made me sad to realize that i don't really exist within that circle of friends i did last year. a lot of alums were on campus that mean a lot to me, and i barely even saw them at the game.

mostly, i recognize that a lot of the way i am now is my fault. a lot of the way i feel and am perceived, is soley a reult of my own actions. but i'm content. i'm excited to go to new paltz (i'm probably going to be real weird there: a feminist, anarchist, bisexual, vegetarian, who doesn't drink or do drugs) and not worry about people calling me, because i don't really know anyone! i'm ready for that. i want that. (not as much as i obviously want other things from the school, but that doesn't hurt).

more than anything, i want to remember the good of wells. i want to remember this place like it was last semester, and the moments of it that still exist during special occasions like even/odd. i want to appreciate the things/people that i love here while recognizing that i'm not really a part of them anymore.

i really am ready for a big change. i'm getting to be a big girl now, i think!

Wed, 19 Sep 2007 12:25:25 GMT

i've applied to suny new paltz for the spring 2008 semester. my intended major is speech and language disabilities. i'm so excited!